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Scam: #135

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An*l-eez Topical Cream

Sue Johanson - Topical Cream

Unknown, --

My boyfriend had been bothering me to have an*l sex with him for a few months, but he's been blessed (or cursed) with a unit that, although not very long, has the circumference of a beer can. As you can imagine, I was a little bit hesitant to sign up for that sort of torture. One night we were watching the Oxygen network when this sweet little old lady named Sue Johanson came on....she's the host of Talk Sex With Sue....she recommended a product called An*l-Eez topical cream to first timers and assured the audience that the numbing agent would make it feel more like a Nerf bat was being used instead of a Louisville Slugger (or something along those lines). MAYBE ON HER WRINKLY OLD O-RING. Let me tell felt like my a** was being ripped a child at Christmas tearing open a gift he's just discovered under the tree. HEY SUE, CAN U AT LEAST RECOMMEND A GOOD INFLATABLE DONUT CUZ SITTING DOWN IS NO LONGER AN OPTION FOR ME.

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Sue Johanson - Topical Cream


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This product is terrible if you're in to ATM ( *ss to mouth ). I was in a bit of a daze after the pounding I took (the numbing agent works on his member too so he lasted FOREVER) and after he roll me over and put it in my mouth I realized that I was drooling more than usual and had lost all sensation in my lips....for the rest of the night I looked like a stroke victim or Mary Jo Buttafuoco after Amy Fisher shot her in the face...lower half of my face was paralyzed and I was drooling like a St. Bernard...went from Doggy Style to looking like A least the sex was good and there was no chance of getting pregnant.

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